What to say when talking or texting dirty to men

Learning how to talk or text dirty to men often brings up the question of “what to say” when talking dirty.  Most women that don’t know what to say when sending dirty text messages or talking dirty feel like they’re being put on the spot, which is no way to feel about sex at all.  In some cases, not knowing what to say when talking dirty can even put a screeching halt on the entire sexual experience, and things can get awkward – fast.

The secret to learning what to say when talking dirty to your man is found in your man himself.

What words and dirty talk phrases has HE used in bed or in text messages?  What dirty phrases is HE comfortable with?  Think of examples of dirty talk in your own sex life and start to see patterns of what your man says, what he wants, and what he expects.  You’ll soon find it’s all right there for you to piece together and learn for yourself.

But his wants, needs and desires in dirty text messages are only half of the equation.  YOU are the other half, and right now, that part is far more important.  You have to be comfortable talking dirty with the words and dirty phrases you say before you can even attempt to talk dirty to your man.  In terms of “what to say when talking dirty”, there needs to be a middle ground.

Here’s a 3 step process for revealing the right words to say when talking dirty to your man:

1) Do your detective work and compile a list of words and dirty phrases you’ve either heard your man say, or you know for a fact he’s familiar with.  Write them down (without judging them) on a piece of paper.

2) Once his list is done, compile a list of your own.  Write down all words and dirty phrases that have worked for you in the past as well as dirty words and phrases you are already comfortable with using in your dirty talk.  Again, do not judge your dirty words and phrases as you compile your list.

3) Compare the two lists and find dirty words and phrases that are included in both and circle them.

Another way to do this dirty talk exercise is to use a Ven Diagram.  You can draw one yourself, or click here to download our “Dirty Diagram” for free.  Just follow the instructions and use the Dirty Diagram to cultivate your dirty talk words and phrases, giving you a solid foundation to start from.  You will find this method of learning how to talk dirty to your man will help you tremendously in discovering what to say when talking dirty.

Once you’ve cultivated your personalised dirty words and phrases, the next step is to use them to talk dirty to your man.  There are many ways you can use them in your dirty talk, and as you start talking dirty you will begin to realize what dirty talk phrases work best, and which ones don’t.  Either way, it’s better to use dirty talk words and phrases that both you and your man are already familiar with, instead of taking a shot in the dark and talking dirty on your own.

One Response to “What to say when talking or texting dirty to men”

Leave a Reply to Jay


Messages received from 69992 are charged at £1.50 each. Inbound SMS is charged at your usual Network rate.
Users must be 18+ to access the service and exit the service by sending "STOP" to 69992.
By joining the service you consent to receive further promotional messages until you decide to opt out.
Helpline 0870 919 6769.
Service provider: Revernet Ltd, Vintage House, 36-37 Albert Embankment, London SE1 7TL.
This is a virtual chat service only. No meeting or dating will ever occur.
All models were 18 or older at the time their photos or videos were taken.